Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Brynn's birth story.

I want to write about this while it is still fresh in my mind.  I want to remember this day for the rest of my life.  The best day of my life.

It was Friday, April 26th.  We had a scheduled c-section for that morning.  Surgery was set for 12:00 that afternoon and I had to be there by 9:30 that morning.  I did not sleep very well the night before.  Tossing and turning thinking about what was to come.  I was nervous about the surgery, but for some reason, nervous more so about becoming a mom.  This was something I had always dreamed of, but now the day it was about to come true, I was nervous.  Nervous about whether or not I would be a good mom, if I would know what to do to take care of her, to calm her down.  Steve and my mom reassured me that I would be fine, I would be a great mom and everything would just come naturally.

I woke up at 7:00 that morning, rolled over and looked at Steve and said todays the day, today we are having a baby!  Shortly after laying there for a little bit we heard the dogs start barking like crazy.  We got up to see that Honey and Pops (my grandparents) had driven straight through the night to make sure that they were there for the birth of Brynn.  I knew they were coming, but I never expected them to drive through the night, and it meant a lot to have them both there.

We both got dressed, got our bags together, took a few last pictures.  A last baby bump picture, a last picture as a family of two + fur baby.  Then, it was time to go.  We passed out our hugs and kisses and made our way to the hospital.

We arrived at 9:30, checked in and made our way to the pre-procedure area of the hospital.  I quickly changed into my hospital gown and was hooked up to monitors and IV.  I laid there for about 2 hours answering questions from the nurses and just waiting for the time to come.  During that waiting period I actually started to get contractions.  They were nothing majorly intense, but they were starting, and in some way that was a little comforting.  Comforting to know that even though I was deciding when she was going to come into this world, that she probably would have been coming on her own very shortly.

Not to long after I was all hooked up, my parents showed up, then my grandmother and cousin.  We sat around talking, joking and taking pictures.  Soon the doctor showed up, and it was finally show time. Steve suited up into his doctor gear and we said our good-byes to the family.  I was wheeled to the operating room, Steve kissed me and waited outside the door until he was allowed to come inside.

When they took me inside I sat on the edge of the table.  It was time for the epidural.  I was instructed to lean over a pillow, while another man held my shoulders down.  The anesthiolgist cleaned off my back and proceeded with the epidural.  I was not too nervous about it, but didn't really know what to expect.  But, it really wasn't that bad, a pinch and then pressure and that was it.  I laid there on the operating table while my legs started to get warm, tingly and heavy.  It was such a strange feeling, knowing what was happening...and just not being able to move.  They kept putting alcohol pads from my legs up to my stomach to see if I could feel how cold it was.  I was really nervous about feeling something.  Soon the curtain was up and then Steve showed up and was by my side.  They kept pinching me with some tool to see if I could feel it, and I could.  So, they waited a little longer.  Finally they decided to start, they said that if I could feel it totally, I would be screaming.  And so it started.

They told me when they made the incision.  I felt a lot of tugging and pulling and pressure during the whole thing.  It was nothing painful, but just a very weird sensation.  The pressure when they were pulling her out was immense.  But then all of a sudden everything washed away when they said "OK we are taking the baby out now, you are going to feel a lot of pressure."  Then I heard my doctor say "Wow a lot of hair!"  followed by "Thank goodness I didn't let you deliver this baby Lauryn, this is a BIG baby!"  And then I heard the sweetest sound ever...Brynn's cry.  Steve quickly left my side to take pictures and cut the cord.  And it seemed like an eternity before they brought her over to me.  Steve held her on my chest and I just kissed her forehead and caressed her little face with my fingers.  I had never seen anything so perfect!  And instantly, instantly...my whole heart was full.  I felt a love like I had never felt in my life...my life felt instantly complete..and I never believed more in God than I did in that very moment.

Steve left the room with the baby to take her to the nursery to get cleaned up and I stayed back while they continued to sew me back up.  It was about 30 minutes and then they wheeled me into recovery.  This was the worst part.  I just laid there for two hours staring at the ceiling.  They kept telling me to sleep.  I though this was just crazy!  How could I possibly sleep when I just had this new little baby..and I couldn't wait to go see her!  After two hours they finally got me a room and brought me my baby.  I held her and just stared at her in amazement.  She was absolutely perfect.  Perfect and beautiful in every way.  And as I sit here and write this I have tears rolling down my cheeks, because that's exactly what she is... perfect.  And when I look at her I am just overwhelmed by this immense love.  This feeling I have never felt before.  A feeling that I would do anything for this little girl.  A feeling that makes me want to be a better person.  The best version of myself.  The best mommy that I can be.  And to always try my best to give her the happiest life.  A life full of love, family and memories.

Friday, May 3, 2013

The days leading up to...the best day of my life.

Although Brynn is already here and I want to write up her complete birth story while it is still fresh in my mind, I also don't want to forget the days leading up to her birth.  They were very eventful days and I want to remember what it was like right before she got here :)

Friday April 12th was my last day at work before my maternity leave.  I had originally said that I would work up until my water broke or contractions started.  But you see, teaching 19 five year olds 7 hours a day is quite the job!  In my ninth month of pregnancy standing up all day, bending over to tie shoes, getting on and off the ground a million times was really wearing on me.  By the end of the day my back would be killing me and my feet would be so swollen.  But, I'm not here to complain, lets just say I wanted a week to relax before my world changed.

The next week I had great plans to relax, kick my feet up, get a little exercise in...some last minute baby shopping.  Well, that is when we had the rug ripped right up from under us.  You see, we had been waiting on this one house for four months, to finally hear that it just was not going to work out. We decided that since we were not going to have the house when the baby came that we needed to get a place of our own and get out of my parents house.  Not that we don't love my parents, they have been extremely gracious to us throughout this whole process by letting us live there and save money.  It is just that we felt that we wanted to start this whole new family business by ourselves in our own house.  So that Tuesday after Steve got out of work we decided to go look at some townhouses to rent.  I thought we were just going to look, but...we ended up signing a lease.  And just like that we were moving a week and a half before my due date.  It was a bittersweet feeling.  Happy to be getting our own place, sad that we would be leaving the comfort of constantly being surrounded by people that I love. 

That Thursday through the weekend it was all about moving.  Steve was moving things out of our storage unit and my mom cleaning out my room at her house.  It was difficult not being able to help like I usually would.  And knowing that Brynn was coming soon was making me want everything perfect right away, which, lets face it...is not possible.  But we worked through it and made it pretty livable. 

Monday came around and my cousin Heather was coming in town to visit.  She was coming a week before my due date, hoping that the baby would come early.  I kept telling her that it was wishful thinking.  I had just been to the doctor the week before and had no progress going on.  We had plans to just enjoy each others company and if baby came, great!  If baby didn't come, well then we had some good quality time.

Tuesday was my checkup at the doctor.  I went in feeling heavy and actually quite miserable.  When I walked in the first thing the doctor said was "You're still pregnant!"  "Yes, I am STILL pregnant!"  When it came time to be checked, zero...nothing...nada!  No progression.  That is when she said, "Well what do you want to do?"  "How do you want to get this baby out?"  "What, what do you mean how do I want to get this baby out, like I have options?"  That is when she told me that I had three choices.  We could wait until my due date and then if she was still not here, induce me.  They could induce me now, or we could schedule a c-section and do it this week if I wanted to.

Instantly I was overwhelmed with all these decisions.  I am not good at making decisions.  After going over all the options and her telling me that this baby was big and that I could try to have her naturally and could ultimately end up having a c-section anyways is what made me start leaning towards that option.  Also in my mind was that Heather was there and this would give her the opportunity to be there for the birth before she left, as well as my brother who was about to leave to go out of town.  I told her I had to go home and talk to Steve and I would call her in the morning.  We talked it over and decided together that having the c-section was the best choice for us.  I called the doctor the next morning and waited for her to return my call.

That day, Heather my mom and I went out to lunch and to get a manicure and pedicure.  After all, I knew that I was about to have my baby and I had to be pretty to meet her.  During getting my nails done I got the call.  That's when I was told Friday, Friday at noon.  April 26th will be your baby's birthday.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

She's here!

Brynn Caroline
is here!

She was born Friday, April 26th at 12:37pm.
She weighed 8lbs 9oz.

She is absolutely perfect in every single way.

39 weeks

How far along? 39 weeks
Total weight gain: 22 lbs total
Maternity clothes? pretty much all maternity mixed in with stretchy workout clothes
Stretch marks? No thank heavens!!! I made it to the end stretch mark free!
Sleep: horrendous!! up every hour on the hour to use the restroom along with tossing and turning to switch sides.
Best moment this week:
getting our new home ready, finding out when baby is coming!
Miss Anything? being able to move normally and comfortably.
Movement: they say there is a lot less movement in the last weeks but that just isn't true with this little girl.  She is still doing giant movements frequently, as well as getting the hiccups several times a day.
Food cravings: still with the brownies and vanilla ice cream combo, along with munchin' on ice.
Anything making you queasy or sick: nope
Gender: Girl

Labor Signs:  Some definite contractions here and there.  Nothing consistent.
Symptoms: Feet are getting swollen.  Nothing side show like..but puffy for sure.  Braxton hicks contractions.  Frequent urination.

 Belly Button in or out? in and flat!  Another thank goodness for me.  I really wanted to keep my innie :)
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: SO very happy!!  I have had a very stressful last few months being pregnant and trying to get a new house and now moving just days before labor.  I'm pretty happy to say that I have managed to keep my composure through it all.  Ask Steve and you may get a different story ;)
Looking forward to: Meeting our little girl very soon!